This article was originally published on Group.com.

What do you do when children notice and ask about people they see with disabilities? Do you shy away from the conversation, or are you ready to help kids honor and perhaps even befriend someone with disabilities? Licensed professional counselor, Mandy Milner, shares insights and offers five simple ideas for talking with children about disabilities. Her ideas will help kids recognize and appreciate God’s handiwork in all people! 

5 Helpful Tips for Talking With Children About Disabilities

1). Help kids empathize with those who have disabilities.

Infuse questions into conversations that encourage kids to think about others’ experiences—not just people with disabilities, but anyone!

• When playing together you might ask, “How do you think this doll would feel if the other dolls played without her?
• When watching or talking about a movie kids have seen, you might ask, “What do you think that movie character is feeling right now?
• When recapping a day a school, you might ask, “How do you think your friend felt when they fell at recess?”

These types of questions exercise your kids’ empathy muscles so that they can more easily put themselves in others’ shoes and care about what others might be feeling.

2). Notice and respond to kids’ curiosity.  

Kids are naturally curious—it’s one of the best things about them! We don’t want to discourage their curiosity, but we may need to shepherd them in how to appropriately express it, especially when they’re encountering people with noticeable disabilities.
If you observe a child pointing or staring at someone, calmly encourage them not to do those things. You can do so by asking an empathetic question like: “How do you think that person feels if people point at her? If you were in that situation, what would you rather have people do?”

3). Offer grace and guidance for how to respond to disabilities.

Be careful not to get upset with the inquisitive child. Remember, curiosity isn’t bad. We don’t want to communicate that any engaging with or interacting with a person with disabilities is inappropriate. If the child has questions, do your best to answer them directly. Avoid adding your own interpretation or information they’re not asking for. For example, if the child asks why someone is using a cane, you can say, “They must need some extra help with walking right now.”
You can also offer some alternatives for kids’ curiosity. Instead of pointing or staring, they could smile and wave! They could introduce themselves and ask the person’s name. If it’s another kid, they could invite him to join an activity.

4). Help kids notice commonalities, too!

You can also encourage kids’ healthy curiosity by asking them to look for things they have in common with the person. This helps them see that their difference is just one part of who they are.
Remember that kids are watching and learning from you, so modeling friendly and respectful interaction is one of the most powerful ways to help kids build these tools.

 5). Normalize and celebrate differences.

Encourage kids to look for examples of people with all kinds of differences and similarities as you go through your day. You might look in the Bible, in family or church family, or in shows, books, and movies. Remind kids that God makes people in all kinds of different ways. God gave people all kinds of gifts and challenges, and each person reflects the image of God.
Children really can use their curiosity to discover ways God’s image manifests in each person they meet, including our friends with disabilities.

Many parents wrestle with whether they should let their child to get baptized. Their son or daughter has seen others get baptized, and now they are asking to also get in the water. Parents often wonder, is it a good time? Are they old enough? Is there any reason to wait?

The issue of baptism for a child is essentially no different than for an adult. It all hinges on a simple question—are they born again? Jesus told Nicodemus in John 1 that a man must be born again to enter the kingdom of heaven. But how do you know about your kids? Ask yourself, have they had an encounter with the Holy Spirit? Have they been regenerated in their hearts? Have they determined to give their lives to God? This doesn’t mean that they suddenly become perfect little people; the development of holiness is a lifelong process. But certainly, there should be a noticeable work of the Holy Spirit, a growing conscience, a new sensitivity to God’s presence, and a desire to do good apart from the threat of punishment. Just as with an adult, these are all signs that a child has been born again.

If these signs are present, then there is absolutely no reason to hesitate. Baptism should not be a reward for good behavior, but an outward sign of a new heart. Simply make sure the child understands intellectually what baptism is all about, and move forward.

On the other hand, if you think your child wants to get baptized for the wrong reasons (it looks fun, other kids are doing it), don’t initially discourage it. Simply make them wait for a time. If their desire for baptism is not just a whim, but a sincere conviction, then you will be able to tell. If you believe that your child has not received Jesus as their savior, then maybe this is your opportunity to walk them through that journey! Let the Holy Spirit guide you. He will convict them of their sins, awaken their hearts to his presence, and wash them white as snow. It is not your job to save them; but it is your job, more than anyone else in the world, to introduce them to Jesus. And every step of the way, pray for them. If you aren’t sure whether you are saved yourself, please speak with one of the leaders of our church, and they will help you.

At the Refuge we sometimes perform the unorthodox act of getting immersed more than once. Throughout church history, common practice has only allowed for a single baptism. This is because of what baptism represents at its core. Connected to ritual washings in the Old Testament, it symbolizes the cleansing of our sins. Unlike the Old Testament washings, baptism isn’t tied to temporary rituals, but the eternal sacrifice of Christ. It symbolizes us dying with Christ (going into the water) and being brought back to new life (coming out of the water). Romans 6:4 says, “We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” Through baptism, we profess to the whole world that Jesus has saved us and that we will follow him for the rest of our lives.

Theologically, there is no need to get in the water more than once. Jesus’ blood is enough for our salvation, and he will never leave us. We want to be careful to not follow in the footsteps of many churches (Lutheran, Catholic, Orthodox) of ascribing our salvation to an action like baptism, or communion, or confession to a priest. We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus. There is no need to repeat any rituals to keep his grace. The ordinances of communion and baptism do have deep spiritual and symbolic significance, but they do not save us. Only the grace of God through faith can save us and grant us eternal life.

Considering the purpose of baptism, why then do we at the Refuge sometimes desire to get immersed more than once? Why do we hold special services where we regularly immerse people? We do this in a gesture of humility and faith, not to say, “Jesus your work wasn’t enough the first time.” But to say, “Jesus, I still need you. I want to humble myself once more at your feet.” We want to reaffirm our commitment to him, as we recognize and enjoy his commitment to us. In a similar way, which is common among all Christians, we practice communion many times throughout our lives as a commemoration of what he has done. Though the wrath of God has been fully satisfied by Jesus’ death on a cross, we still symbolically consume his body and blood to remember what he has done and allow his Spirit to sanctify us. Similarly, we step into the water as an act of faith, opening our hearts to allow the work of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes this is accompanied by physical healing.

Hopefully it is accompanied by spiritual sanctification every time. We do caution against excessively repetitive immersions, which could become like prayers that Jesus describes as “vain repetition” in Matthew 6:7. We never want baptism to become an empty gesture.

Please make it clear to your children that Jesus said in John 10:28, “I give them eternal life, and they shall never die. No one can snatch them away from me.” They don’t have to fear that every little error and mistake in their lives will send them to hell unless they get in the water again. The water has no saving power. Only Jesus can save, heal, regenerate, and empower us, by the power of the Holy Spirit. And he is faithful to do it if we ask.